Bits and bobs
Things at the moment are kind of dull, to say the least. The most entertainment I got today was from dissecting the word 'me' in my moleskine until it meant nothing at all.
I have started and abandoned 6 books within the last few weeks. This is very very unusual. For me. For other people it might be very normal. Up till now my party trick has always been sticking with things, but no longer, I guess. So out of desperation I am FORCING myself to finish Dostoyevky's The Devils. I get sudden and very compulsive urges to throw it at the wall when yet another very long Russian name has been mentioned, and I have to flick back to find out who they are and what heinous act they committed and what they said to another person with a long name, and are they a revolutionary or not, and does it even matter?? (To complicate matters, several of them share the same name.)
After having promised in a fit of teenagerish non-skinny-ness angst not to eat anything much today, I munched my way through half a packet of biscuits and a lot of pasta and some omlette and toast and chocolate and a scone and probably a lot more I can't remember. I have come to the conclusion that I have the willpower of a racoon. I have come to the second conclusion that forgetting to eat does NOT happen if a conscious effort is made, but only when I am very busy having fun and not thinking about food until my stomach complains loudly. So I will make a conscious effort to be busy having fun, and hope that a conscious effort here does not nullify the sought after effect.
Everything fits perfectly with the mood. The weather is perfect. It hasn't stopped raining in two weeks. On and off and not a second of sun. I wondered earlier whether I am miserable because the weather is bad, or the weather is bad because I am miserable. The last one would be amazing. But I guess I won't know until the sun shines, and even then I won't really know.
I am trawling through my iTunes list of 'sad songs' and one by one hunting them down on YouTube. Yes. It has come to that. And I have nothing planned until August.
I have started and abandoned 6 books within the last few weeks. This is very very unusual. For me. For other people it might be very normal. Up till now my party trick has always been sticking with things, but no longer, I guess. So out of desperation I am FORCING myself to finish Dostoyevky's The Devils. I get sudden and very compulsive urges to throw it at the wall when yet another very long Russian name has been mentioned, and I have to flick back to find out who they are and what heinous act they committed and what they said to another person with a long name, and are they a revolutionary or not, and does it even matter?? (To complicate matters, several of them share the same name.)
After having promised in a fit of teenagerish non-skinny-ness angst not to eat anything much today, I munched my way through half a packet of biscuits and a lot of pasta and some omlette and toast and chocolate and a scone and probably a lot more I can't remember. I have come to the conclusion that I have the willpower of a racoon. I have come to the second conclusion that forgetting to eat does NOT happen if a conscious effort is made, but only when I am very busy having fun and not thinking about food until my stomach complains loudly. So I will make a conscious effort to be busy having fun, and hope that a conscious effort here does not nullify the sought after effect.
Everything fits perfectly with the mood. The weather is perfect. It hasn't stopped raining in two weeks. On and off and not a second of sun. I wondered earlier whether I am miserable because the weather is bad, or the weather is bad because I am miserable. The last one would be amazing. But I guess I won't know until the sun shines, and even then I won't really know.
I am trawling through my iTunes list of 'sad songs' and one by one hunting them down on YouTube. Yes. It has come to that. And I have nothing planned until August.
kiwiqueen - 25. Jun, 21:16