In addition to ruling over kiwis, I am the (self-professed) Queen of Procrastination. The King can be found here. He is even greater than I am, as he does all this accidentally, and not, as I do, with much deliberation.

I think this may be a medical condition. I have unbelievable mountains of things to do, but not only do I not do them, I actively avoid doing them. In order to pass the time in between remembering I have work and actually doing the work, I have gone as far as to make pretty spider diagrams using a variety of exciting colours detailing exactly what I have to do for each subject. And when I have run out of substantial and meaningful things to add to each diagram, I write "sort out folders" or "buy folder dividers" or sometimes even "buy a new pen with a different colour soley for this subject/essay". Each spider diagram so far has taken me an hour to draw. They are all exquisitely beautiful.

So, we have procrastination method number one, the spider diagrams. Procrastination method number two is called Counting Chickens Before Conception. I merrily and deliberately spend the evenings browsing the websites of universities I would quite like to go to, pausing often to imagine myself tootling along with the smiley happy (shiny) people pictured before grand buildings. Occassionally, I have a flash of lucidity which says something like: WORK goddamnit, or you will never be the shiny happy person you are seeing in your mind's eye... but then it peters out and I go back to sending off for prospectuses. Prospecti?

I have many more methods, but the rest are secret and available to the general public only by great demand.