After having demanded I wake up at seven AM tomorrow (the last day it would be possible for me to lie in before college begins again) just so that I can straighten his hair for him, he turns to Mami.

"Do you like my hair when it's straight?" he demands threateningly. Everything today is a command. This one is a command to answer in the affirmative.

"Well, the last time I saw it straight was..."

"Shut up! Do you like it when it's straight?!?!"

"I do." She answers with resignation.

There is a long pause.

"Well I think," My dad starts, "that you look like an emu gone wrong. All you need is the black eyeliner."

"An emu?" I asked.

"Yeah....you know." He looks bewildered.

TRY THIS: Write 10 statements intended towards 10 different people. Write about something you would never say to his/her face or something that you wished you had said when you got the chance, but didn't.


1. I dream up horrible things happening to you. I know deep-down you don’t deserve it. I’m sorry for that and everything else I ever said. It’s not nice when grown men cry.

2. Stop stealing my clothes. If you won’t do that, stop shouting at me when I steal yours. Fair’s fair.

3. Please stop thinking those things. It’s not helping anyone, least of all yourself. At the same time, you are amazing, and you know me inside out.

4. You’re one of those people I can say almost anything to. You make me feel 13 again.

5. I am really, really happy for you. I just wonder how long it’ll last, that’s all.

6. Are you sure you made the right decision?

7. I would be so happy if when you ring you would talk to me for longer than two minutes. Ask a few questions. I can’t wait to see you again.

8. Your eyes are becoming more and more square as I type.

9. I cry whenever I think about you, so I’ve pushed you to the back somewhere. You more than anyone else knew how to make me laugh, and now you’re floating about somewhere-not-here making hats. I miss the things we did together.

10. I wish we lived in the same country. We could be abnormal and amusing together.