Things started off very badly today with the repetetive pressing of the snooze button. It's a wonder I managed to get out of bed at all, as dreams of crossing deserts on a big sandy dog really are so much more exciting than brushing teeth and carrying out my half-hour struggle with the contact lenses. The only thought that stopped me from my downward spiral of snoozing-waking-snoozing was the idea of having a long hot shower. The beauty of early morning showers is that once you're under a powerful stream of almost scalding water, you have the opportunity to close your eyes again, perhaps even to nod off for a second or two. (Do not try this at home: may lead to painful bangings of the funny bone.) That and the prospect of pink shampoo bottles. So I ambled blearily but happily along to the bathroom, only to discover someone already in there. That someone being my father, who snapped childishly when I asked him how long he would be. Reduced almost to tears by the shattering of my dream of snoozing in the shower amongst pink bottles, I stamped downstairs.

Where I found my sister using MY straighteners, wearing MY Snoopy underwear, Snoopy's little ears showing quite clearly above her school trousers. Just why??? Why why why, when she has her own straighteners AND, believe it or not, her own underwear??

My father materialised, and a one-sided slanging match ensued. The only thing I asked (and quite reasonably, I thought) was "How hard can it be to say sorry? He looked at me in disbelief, and stuttered, speechless. After a moment or two of stunned silence, he slammed from the house furiously, without having said a word.

Five minutes later, my mother shouted from the kitchen:

"We're not using cling film any more. The plastic contaminates food. I'll wrap your sandwiches in baking paper, OK?"

WHAT? Early morning encounters with family are best avoided, I think. I walked to college clutching my oddly wrapped sandwiches, simultaneously fuming and sighing.