I'm still ill. Everything is still grey. Discovered a band called Yo La Tengo. Most of it is very good, some of it makes me want to curl up and die. A very tiny proportion makes me feel nauseous. Like classical music. Beethoven's music makes me feel sick.

I'm alone in the house, because of being ill. The rest of my family have gone to Manchester to shop. I have about 5 hours of peace ahead of me. Which I will use to revise. Once I get started it will be fine. Maybe I'll end up enjoying it; being on my own, listening to music I like and learning useful things.


Who am I kidding? The cookie monster?

Talking of monsters, this house is spooky. Up in my attic room, I feel like I'm trapped. At regular intervals I hear footsteps on the stairs. Something banging against the wall. When I call down the stairs, no-one answers. There are too many dark corners. I have to leave my door open so I can hear the phone when it rings, but I'd much rather shut out the noises by closing it properly.


*paranoid*

I had a dream about being back in primary school. I woke up crying.

Apart from ill, I'm tired. Last night I went to bed at 11.30 absolutely knackered, but couldn't get to sleep, because I knew there was an important email waiting for me. I got to sleep at 2am, after having re-written the content of the waiting email in my head over and over, and imagined every possible scenario. Not a good night.